Standing for love
I read a quote on Instagram the other day by Alexander Hamilton, that said “if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”, and when I read it I remember thinking “oh yeah, that makes sense” but kept scrolling like I would with any other Instagram post. But it stayed with me. I woke up thinking about it and what it actually meant when translating it to my own life.
“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” “I stand for something… I know I do!” But what does that actually mean? It can’t just be a theoretical framework of values and ideas we say we stand for but in practical terms we bend those values and ideas for convenience or short term pleasures. Because otherwise they are simply things we say we stand for but not enough to apply them to our lives. I thought about this the other day when I went out for dinner with my dad to a very fancy asian restaurant and decided to eat sushi. Because I mean… It should be really good sushi and I love sushi. Used to be one of my favourite foods. I’ve been vegetarian for 4 years though, because personally, it doesn’t make sense to me to support an industry that is endorsing animal exploitation and suffering. An industry that is contributing to the deforestation of our forests and our oceans and producing massive amounts of greenhouse gases that are leading our planet into collapse. It doesn’t make sense to me to support such industry for the sake of short term, momentary pleasure of eating those animals. Yet the other day I did and I’ve eaten fish occasionally a few times throughout the 4 years. I tell myself that it is okay, that it is only sometimes in special occasions. And maybe it is okay, and the fact that I ate sushi yesterday is not the problem here. The problem is that I bended those values and ideas in my head to justify to myself why I was eating it, to make me believe it was okay. “I stand for vegetarianism, yet today, because it is a “special occasion” I will “forget” for a little while why I stand for vegetarian, because sushi!!” This was essentially the logic. And we do this so much, all the time! Especially when it comes to issues that don’t directly affect us. And this is just a small example. But how often do we actually act upon what we believe to be true? And if don’t act upon it, what good is a belief? How often are we willing to change the way we do things to align with the values we so expressively say we defend?
Today we live in a society (and here I am referring to a western liberal democratic society), where everyone is anti-racism, anti-homophobia, pro-gender equality and pro-environmentalism… Well, at least this is what most will tell you when you ask them where they stand. Because today, no one will openly state that they are racists. No one will openly state that they hate gays, or that women are worth less than men. No one will openly argue we should continue burning down the Amazon forest or continue a path towards a 6th mass extinction. Because in 2020 these statements are no longer accepted and while that is a progress on its own, in many cases the fundamental truth behind them is distorted. What I mean here is that even though no one will openly state that women are worth less than men, some will defend structural gender roles and genuinely believe that a men are more suited for power positions than women. This is anti-gender equality. And although it is much more subtle than in the past, which has issues of its own, it shadows the problem as these people are “pro-gender equality”. And of course I say no one for the sake of the argument, because of course there will always be people defending all causes. But I mean… what’s worse? Someone who sells themselves as non racist but then engages in racist comments, perpetrates institutional racism, undervalues the movement with statements “its going too far…” or “racism is a thing of the past”, elects politicians who are clearly racist and openly disregard the need to create social mechanisms to defend the unprotected groups,… or someone who is openly racist, that will engage in all of the above but at least is consistent with their personal belief system and we know where they stand?
“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” If we agree that standing for something can’t just simply mean a theoretical framework of values we say we stand for but that it needs to have practical implications that reflect our actions, then all of us should maybe re-evaluate what we stand for. I mean, I am not implying here that because I decided to eat sushi the other day that I no longer stand for vegetarianism. I do. Or that because someone for the sake of having a laugh told a racist joke, automatically means they are racists. It doesn’t. But we should at least be aware of how much weight do our beliefs weigh in comparison to connivance, circumstance or pleasure. And we should at least be aware that our choices, to eat fish or not, to tell a racist joke or not, to pick up trash in a beach or not, have impacts and reflect way more what we stand for rather than big statements we decide to say at a family dinner. Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Don’t tell me what you believe, show me what you do and I’ll tell you what you believe.” I would advise you to read that statement again. I have done so quite a few times to properly interiorise it. And it’s nothing new, it’s a somewhat obvious statement when we think about it, but the problem is that we more often than not, don’t think about it. We are what we do, not what we say we do or would want to do. I am aware nevertheless, that we live in a world of an overwhelming amount of information constantly being thrown at us and that it becomes hard, if not impossible, to live up to our own expectations and stand to our own values. Everyday we wake up and we realise that the production of clothes of our favourite brand actually violate basic human rights, or that our favourite chocolate is produced through child labor, or that plastic…! And it is so hard. And it is so easy to just choose to not care. To just pass that responsibility forward to someone else who cares enough to actually act upon it and just theoretically standing for it. But we can no longer do this…! And if it becomes too much then we just need to choose our cause but stand for it. Stand for it with humbleness, towards ourselves and others, but own it. Move past the theoretical framework and make it a reality because if we all do this, if we all choose our cause and honour it, then the overwhelming wont be so overwhelming and we can start changing the world. All of us, and I mean all, have something that triggers us the most, whether it is LGBT+ or racial discrimination, whether it is gender inequality, poverty, child abuse, animal abuse, environmental destruction, you name it… and this thing that triggers us the most, is great place to start. We live in a world full of oppression, injustices and exploitation, but we also live in a world full of love, kindness and hope. The choice of where we stand is ours. But it can’t just be a theoretical stand, and even if we can’t just yet stand still with both our feet down in a secure position, that’s okay as long as we are following a path that leads us there. I choose standing for love, always… yet even though I am aware I not always live up to that stand I am working on building it as strong as I can so one day love will be all that is, and everything I stand for, everything I stand on is love. We can all make that choice. We can all choose not to fall for anything. Is as simply as standing for love.
